It’s-a meeee, Maaaario! I am the most famous character in all of video gaming history, and I have a mustache. So imagine my excitement when my brother Luigi showed me this blog! He said ‘Hey-a Maaario! Put down that spicy meee-ta-ball and come over to the computer, paisano’ So I did-a. This is the best website in the entire world I think! The world does not have enough respect for the mustache. It’s often discarded and cast aside as the less appealing facial hair situation for men, but that is a mistake I say! If I didn’t have this awesome mustache, I wouldn’t have been able to beat up Bowser or get Princess Toadstool in the sack. That’s a girl who loves mustache, let me tell you, paisano. The mustache is what makes me Super. It’s given me lasting power. Did Sonic have a mustache? No. And that’s why Sonic was a second rate character who was created by a company that became Nintendo’s bitch. How bout them apples?

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