So a few minutes ago, I decided to visit my little website here and what I saw on the left sidebar really got me excited (no homo). I see the faces of Jordan and Joey and Donnie and Danny and Jonny or whatevs and some words informing me that their IQ is 120 and if I clicked the thing, I could find out if I was smarter than them. Obviously, I couldn’t pass up this opportunity. So I clicked (probably earning myself a cool 15 cents) and I was met with some questions that would stretch the mind of any man or woman to the limit. Questions like ‘How many states are there?’ and ‘How many degrees is a right angle’ were thrown at me like a baseball. Not just any baseball, but a huge, breaking curveball, the kind that buckles knees and brings even the most powerful slugger to his knees. I think I got though those alright, but then came the real doozies. ‘What is the capital of California?’ ‘Who was the 16th president?’ Dear Lord! ‘Those New Kids must have been certified brainiacs if they got this stuff right!’ I thought to myself as I bravely but cautiously answered ‘Sacramento’ and ‘Abe Lincoln’. Was I right? I had no idea, but I had to find out if I was smarter than Donnie. Or Joey. These questions were relentless, and they seemed to NEVER end. By the time I answered the 10th one, I was worn the FFFF out. ‘What next??!?!’ I wondered as I clicked the button telling the website I had completed the challenges laid before me. It asked me my sex. Male. It asked me my cell phone carrier. TMobile. THENNN it asked for my phone number so they could text me my IQ. Buuut then I read the fine print, and it turrrns out they just wanted me to subscribe to their games service for $9.99/mo! Those tricky bastards! Those slimy, awful bastards! You don’t tease a boy about finding out if he’s smarter than a boy band MUSICAL SENSATION whose careers have spanned decades! I was ruined. Spent, and ruined.
So in honor of my quest, here’s the song the perfectly decribes everything I just went through. The one song that let me know everything was gonna be ok. Am I smarter than NKOTB? I may never know, but I know one thing..I’ll always Hang Tough.
