LISTEN UP BROTHER. THE HULKSTER HERE TO TELL ALL YOU LITTLE HULKAMANIACS THAT I’VE BEEN FORGETTING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING ALL THESE YEARS, DUDE. YA SEE, I’VE TOLD YOU ABOUT TAKING YOUR VITAMINS AND SAYING YOUR PRAYERS, BROTHER, BUT I HAVEN’T SAID ANYTHING ABOUT GROWING A KILLER MUSTACHE, BROTHER. THE STACHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE REAL SOURCE OF MY POWERS, DUDE. WHEN I CAME FACE TO FACE WITH THE BIGGEST, BADDEST GIANT IN THE WORLD BROTHER, ANDRE THE GIANT DUDE, ALL THOSE YEARS AGO, I FELT THE POWER OF THE HULKAMANIACS CHEERING ME ON DUDE, BUT I COULDN’T HAVE PICKED HIM UP ABOVE MY HEAD AND SLAMMED HIM DOWN TO THE MAT FOR THE 1, 2, 3 BROTHER IF I DIDN’T HAVE THIS AMAZING MUSTACHE. IT GAVE ME THE STRENGTH OF 10 MEN, DUDE. IT’S ABOUT TIME SOMEBODY DEDICATED A WHOLE MONTH TO THIS FANTASTIC PIECE OF MALE FACIAL HAIR, BROTHER. MAYSTACHE MAYNIA FOR LIFE, DUDE.
